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Shall the South Rises Again?

Posted by Truong on May 15, 2007

Northerners are rude, they talk funny, they’re lousy drivers, have bad taste and know nothing about customer service.
HCM waitersWaiters from northern Vietnam serve noodles at a northern style restaurant in Ho Chi Minh City, Jan. 30, 2007.

When a Vietnamese blogger unleashed this tirade from down south recently, people 700 miles away in Hanoi responded with a flood of angry Web site postings and a few death threats text-messaged to the blogger’s cell phone.

The episode underscored a delicate truth about Vietnam: Hard feelings die hard. The United States has had 142 years to recover from the civil war. The Vietnam War’s north-south division ended just 32 years ago.

Vast cultural differences divide the former republics of North and South Vietnam. Hanoi is as far from Ho Chi Minh City, the former Saigon, as New York is from Atlanta. The two cities have different cuisines, different dialects and different styles of doing business.

Relations are generally civil, even friendly. But occasionally, something stirs up old animosities. And nothing has stirred them like Nhu Hoa’s shot in the country’s thriving blogosphere, which she wrote after a weekend visit to Hanoi.

“I came to realize that Hanoi was not a place for Saigonese, who are food connoisseurs,” wrote Hoa, a university student who complained about everything from the condensed milk northerners use in their coffee (sticky and sweet) to the speed of their Internet connections (very slow).

“I pity the parents who gave birth to this devil baby,” Hanoi resident Bui Dung shot back in a typical online riposte.

Since the war ended in 1975, legions of northerners have moved to Ho Chi Minh City, the country’s business hub and a testing ground of stereotypes.

Northerners tend to think of themselves as more cultured, and view Hanoi as Vietnam’s capital of art, literature and scholarship.

Southerners consider themselves more dynamic and tend to see Hanoi as a quaint, sleepy town. They have been more exposed to Western ways, while the north is more influenced by neighboring China and by communist central planning.

Southerners with money take their friends out to dinner; northerners tend to be thrifty and prefer to visit friends at home, said Kim Dung, a journalist who moved to Ho Chi Minh City from Hanoi 12 years ago.

But northerners generally are more concerned about status and will buy one expensive motorbike while the southerner is more likely to buy two cheap ones, she said.

Many northerners relish the nightlife and business buzz of Ho Chi Minh City, but the adjustment can be difficult.

“I felt like I was coming to a foreign country,” said Tran Thu Huong, 37, who moved here to direct an Australian educational exchange program. “People spoke Vietnamese, but I didn’t understand what they were saying.”

At school, classmates ridiculed her daughter’s northern accent. “I hate Saigon. I want to go back to Hanoi,” the girl would proclaim.

Six months later, the 11-year-old had transformed her accent and won acceptance.

While plenty of southerners still harbor grudges over the war, many are willing to put them aside.

Phan Ho Thien Vu, 26, a Ho Chi Minh City attorney, comes from a family that worked at the U.S. military base in Cam Ranh Bay and lost everything after the war.

Far more unites the regions than divides them, Vu said. “We accept their culture, and they accept ours.”

But he does have one big gripe about the north. “The service is terrible!” he said. “If you go to a restaurant and ask for an extra chopstick, the owners get angry at you.”


Ben Stocking
Associated Press

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Tragedy of names

Posted by Truong on May 14, 2007

trut gianAngry at her faithless husband, a woman in Tien Phuoc district, Quang Nam province named her daughter, who was born in 1986, Ly Tan (Breaking up).

A 14-year-old girl in Tam Xuan II commune, Nui Thanh district, Quang Nam province is named Vo Ly (Absurdity). The girl’s mother said that she hated the husband who left her when she was pregnant so she named her girl that to let out her anger.

Vo Ly wants to give up her studies because she is always teased by her classmates due to her strange name. And now her mother feels regret.

A man in Tien Lanh commune, Tien Phuoc district, also in Quang Nam province, named his last daughter Xin Thoi (No More). The man said that when his daughter was born in 1989, his family was fined because they had delivered too many children and violated the government rules on family planning. As the family was very poor, they had to sell paddy rice to get money to pay the fine. Looking at the miserable children, he named the newborn baby Xin Thoi or No More to remind himself to not have any more children. With that strange name, Xin Thoi had to drop out her studies because she couldn’t bear the teasing of her classmates.

At the age of 25, Ms Nghia Trang (Cemetery) went to the local Department of Justice to change her name because she couldn’t stand it any longer. “That name made me wretched. I always had to suffer teasing from classmates so I had to quit studying. No employer would recruit me also because of that name,” she said.

Getting a name back

At the age of 17, Ly Tan (Breaking) went to the Quang Nam Provincial Department of Justice to ask for name change. Thanks to the new name, she has a stable job and a happy family.

The girl named Xin Thoi (No More) also acquired a new name at the age of 18. She said that because of the name, she didn’t dare to go out. Now, though she has a new nice name, the old name still haunts her.

The mother of Vo Ly (Absurdity) said that she changed her daughter’s name. Though the name is not so nice, it has helped her small daughter escape from the ridicule of her classmates.

Thousands of odd names are recorded in the civil status registration books of many communes in Quang Nam province. Each name is a tragedy of the mother or the father. An official of the provincial Department of Justice said that for the past ten years, the department has performed name-changing formalities for thousands of people, mainly for those who have ugly and odd names.

Vietnamnet Bridge

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The Art of Apologizing

Posted by Truong on April 4, 2007

Image: indiacarddukan.

You’ve just made a mistake in doing something that seriously hurt your close friend? You want to apologize but rather haughty and too shy to do it? Or you don’t know how to do it delicately? Don’t worry. Following these steps might help you a lot.

1. Take the responsibility: The first and most vital step is to admit the guilt. Maybe you realize the mistake right after doing that, or someone let you know your fault.

2. Explain: Another important is to let your friend know that you made the mistake unintentionally and you feel really terrible for have been hurting him or her.

3. Prove your remorse: If you apologize with an indifferent face and phlegmatic manner, then the problem will probably be worse. Express sincerely your remorse for your mistake. “I feel so penitent for have spoken out your secret. I’m very ashamed of myself” may be a good way to convey that.

4. Correct your mistake: After great effort in apologizing, there will be no good results if you don’t take action. If you damage someone’s instruments, for example, you should ask for permission to fix it or buy a new one for her. You should ask your friend whether you can give some help. Also, giving a small but significant gift be another good way to improve the situation.

5. Choose the right moment: If you make a trifling mistake, like knocking against somebody, correct it right then. Don’t do it the following day. Your relationships may be worsened much if your friend’s anger is accumulated for a long period of time.

If your problem is more serious, like wouding your friend in his honour, then you should think of your apology carefully. In these cases, don’t say an immediate apology, because it can turn out to be affected, unhonest in the victim’s eyes. Remember, it doesn’t matter who win or who lose. It is vital that you can conserve a good relationship.

Tips:

  • Admit your guilt to your friend as soon as possible.
  • Speak a clear, straightforward apology, try to avoid ambiguousness, equivocalness. If there is any mitigative and reasonable excuse, don’t forget to mention it.
  • The voice is the most important part. Speak as honestly as possible. Avoid such ‘general’ apologies as “I’m sorry for what happened to you” or “I feel ashamed for my act.” But, remember this, saying “It’s completely my fault” is very dangerous. Avoid it.
  • After apologizing, stay silent, and listen sicerely your friend saying her feelings. The apology, thanks to that, will be more effective.
  • Promise to compensate for damage if needed, but don’t promise to do what you can’t. If you do, you’ll soon become the target of another anger in the future.

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